(Still working on this page, add spoons, gottman, etc.)
Nice to meet you! My name is Bryan Bissell and your profile caught my eye for several reasons! Since we likely met on a dating site, I assume that you are interested in dating and also marriage if you can find the right person. I’m looking for a a woman who will be a great/best friend, fall in love, date, then marry if we have similar goals, values and principles! These are important so that we can make each other feel truly loved, cooperate best, reach both our dreams most effectively, do the most good for others as we journey through the ups and downs of life together. This way we can reach the highest levels of love and truth that God desires for us and these are the basis of everything best in life !
My contact info is in the P.S. at the end. I will not be on dating apps much because they are so limiting in many ways.***
Here’s are some things that I believe are most important for the best relationships long term. I hope you share some things that are important to you so I can know you better. This way we can know if this relationship is worth investing significant time in.
Falling in love, having strong emotions is fairly easy, but following principles that make love strong for all our lives is most important. We don’t have to match in everything. I don’t want a copy of me and God made men and women different and even our brains work some differently. Life works best when we use the best skills from both men and women to meet life’s challenges.
1) GOD’S LOVE IS CRUCIAL: My top goals in life are to learn and follow God’s principles because the experience of billions of people, history and science all show that help us experience and do the best good for people we love, families, communities, churches, and nations. They also will give us the most wonderful adventure of all, living forever with our Creator! These are my three favorite Bible verses. What are yours?
- “Godliness brings lasting benefit in everything; It brings you blessings in this life and in the future life too.” 1 Timothy 4:8 (CJB/ERV/ISV)
- “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.. ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” Mark 12:30-31
- “Always try to do what is good for each other and for all people.” 1 Thess. 5:15 (ERV)
Marriage and family are a top priority to me. I want to enjoy romance and spend much time with the woman I love making her happy, helping each other with our dreams, making the house a home, maybe raising kids, as well as helping people and building/joining a healthy community/church, etc.
I believe very strongly that frequent giving, esp. in the area of a spouse’s needs, is one of the most important essences and privileges of marriage. If people can’t give unselfishly often, they shouldn’t marry. I have a lot to give and am looking for a woman to give my life to as fully as I can. I’m Christian, not Jewish, but this idea from Judaism is very true and thousands of relationships as well as science confirm it:
“In Hebrew the word for love is “ahava.” The root word of ahava is hav, which means to give. In other words, loving is synonymous with giving. Love is the constant choice to give to another. You don’t fall in love; you create love. You act lovingly, by giving to your partner. As a function of giving, we create love. The more of yourself you invest in anything or anybody, the more attached you feel to that other thing or other person.
See also: https://bibleproject.com/explore/video/ahavah-love/
These principles help people experience 4D love!
True love of course has to be 2 way and care deeply about the most important needs of both lovers. If only one side gives and the other only takes, it is actually a kind of slavery that hurts and cripples the success that both could have.
I try really hard to make all my choices based on principles of love and truth so my spouse, family, and everyone around me can enjoy life the most! But I am human and make mistakes at times and I know you will too. But I apologize and confess when I miss following these principles and try to do better the next time and I hope you do the same!
I was married to someone who refused to follow God’s principles in these verses and many of her choices were very destructive, abusive, hurt me, our daughter terribly and caused a lot of losses for several other people too. So I won’t make that mistake again (you can read some about that in the P.S.S. if you want to). A sage said that if you have a bad marriage, the pain will teach you the importance of real love and truth. That’s why wise principles of love and truth is so important to me.
What is most important to you in making wise choices about love and why?
2) SCIENCE: God created the universe, our world, our lives and gave us brains (the most sophisticated object in the universe after God) and science to study and understand it all. I love science that God created and it is important that the woman I love thinks listens carefully to science. Scientists aren’t always perfect. But when you have a lot of scientific evidence pointing in one direction, it’s very important and wise to follow it. If we don’t, we get hurt or suffer terribly. Al Gore shares in this story about how his father and sister ignored science about smoking and dying a painful death in her 40s. Many (like my ex-wife) ignore what science says about marriages, love, greed, pride, etc. and cause much pain and destroy relationships.
3) FRIENDSHIP: Beauty is great (and you are beautiful), and I love affection, romance and intimacy. But character and friendship matter even more. I want a great/best friend who is able to have deep, meaningful and respectful conversations and talk seriously deeply about important things in our lives, in our community and world without pride and is willing to learn as I am. This helps long term happiness a lot!
4) PROBLEM SOLVING/HUMOR: I am an optimist and also a realist. When life throws challenges at me, I read and listen a great deal to the best ideas from God, science, my family and esp. the woman I love, friends, and then work hard to conquer whatever challenges we face. Woman have different brains than men, Harvard shows that some emotions can be very valuable indications of truth. So together men and women can make far better decisions than alone. Many find that humor helps people get through problems better.
If your view has more love and truth in it than mine, then I will easily give up and follow it so BOTH of us win. I don’t agree with many things Ayn Rand said, but this one she is very right on.
People say I am sometimes funny and I love to share funny things. I hope you can see the funny side of life too sometimes!
5) HOBBIES: As far as hobbies, we don’t have to like all the same things, differences can be interesting. But it would be nice if we liked some similar things and I do want to do many things together to make memories. I like watching documentaries and talking about how to solve world problems, true movies are good too. I like hiking and camping in the beauties of nature. I have a couple crazy hobbies such as I love to jump off waterfalls and cliffs into water! I like traveling and learning about different cultures, esp. eating different foods and seeing their dances. I am vegetarian, and can cook some unique and tasty food. I like music (esp. Christian, 80s pop, Asian music, African music, jazz, etc.) and play guitar/sing well.
What do you enjoy in your free time?
I also love family, my 19 year old daughter who plans to be a neurosurgeon and try to do good for all people.
These are some things that are crucial for the best and highest love. I will do that for my wife in my marriage…and I hope she commits to doing it for me too. Then we can both be stronger to help each other in difficult times!
HOW I LOVE/GIVE TO THE WOMAN I LOVE
These are things I did when I was married and will do for my future girlfriend/wife.
–I will love you as my equal partner and treat your hopes and dreams like my own.
–I will pray for you and God’s blessings in your life.
–I will look for ways to make you happy often, if possible daily.
–I love to have deep meaningful conversation and I will listen to your needs and experiences carefully to know you more deeply.
–I will give you all the affection, kisses, intimacy/sex you need whenever you need it (if I don’t have a major deadline/emergency)
–I can cook some unique and delicious foods from several cultures and will be happy to cook them for you.
–I like finding unique gifts to give my wife.
–I’m very good at science and finding solutions for problems. So I can help my wife with her career and dreams in several ways.
–I’m very good at finding truth so we can live in the freeest and happiest way possible.
–I play guitar well, and a couple other musical instruments. So I can play music for us to sing together and make good memories and cheer us up when there are challenges.
–I’m some humorous (but not a professional comedian)..and so I can cheer you up and make you laugh!
–I’m patient and forgiving. If you love me, and want to be closer, I can forgive almost anything. All humans make mistakes..and I will need forgiveness too sometimes. That helps people bond better.
–I will introduce you to quite a few surprising and unique adventures that you never imagined :)!
Some of the things I’m looking for in a woman are:
–Do you love Jesus and people and treat everyone equally? This is the highest principle of God? Do you love learning new truths from God and science in order to be freer (John 8:32)? Loving God is extremely helpful for couples to be happier, successful, patient, forgiving, and avoid pain and relationship breakdowns.
–Do you want to date and hopefully marry fairly soon (within 1-2 years if possible)?
–Do you love people and want to give and help your husband, family and community when you can? (I don’t need any gold diggers, women obsessed with being rich. Putting money first just destroys love and relationships and loses a lot of money too. I experienced that myself with my ex-wife and it was very painful).
–Is being healthy important to you? I am quite healthy, don’t smoke, drink alcohol or do drugs and I want to marry someone similar. Being able to cook healthy vegetarian food would be great since I’m vegetarian.
–Are you kind, patient, forgiving of people and the man you love?
–Do you want to enjoy romance/sensuality as boyfriend and sexual intimacy in marriage often?
–Do you enjoy being outdoors in nature, hiking, swimming, camping, playing sports, etc.?
–Do you believe all people have equal rights and are you are interested in justice?
–Do you like adventure and travel sometimes? Would you be OK with me traveling sometimes (I hope you could join me)?
and things like that.
–Are you OK with living in Asia, probably China, for most of the rest of your life? That is where I will live for a long time (see this site for some reasons why: http://blog.truth-is-life.org/missions/china-vision/)
If you don’t have these, we could still date/marry…but the more the better:
–Like most men, I like women who are attractive. Looks are temporary, character is most important. So I do like beautiful and esp. cute women. But I’m not that hard to please in this area.
–Do you play a musical instrument? I play guitar and can play trumpet and a little piano. Music makes more great memories in life!
–Do you have skills in art/graphic design/video editing?
–Do you like food from various countries, etc.
–Are you are interested in having more children? If not, what about adopting 1-2 children?
What do you think? What traits are essential in a boyfriend/husband for you? What are ideal traits?
I am interested in a Chinese woman because I plan to live in China for much of my future…but if God wills, I’m open to someone else.
While I love truth/justice, I also am patient, love to laugh/smile, forgive easily, am optimistic, diligent, and believe that God can bring good out of any situation that comes to us in life. Because truth and freedom are far more important than my habits or culture, I’m willing to change many things to make my wife/family more comfortable, as long as it doesn’t go against God or science about what makes life best, happiest, most satisfying (individuals can differ from research, but usually research is a good guide to follow).
I love God and his truths and those of science that are foundations of the best marriage, happiness and success in life (as many couples and massive research has shown), like watching true documentaries/movies, like learning and practicing useful ideas to help people and advancing justice. My favorite Bible verses are:
“Godliness brings lasting benefit in everything; It brings you blessings in this life and in the future life too.” 1 Timothy 4:8 (CJB/ERV/ISV)
“You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
“The godly care about the rights of the poor; the wicked don’t care at all.” Proverbs 29:7
Because I have studied the Bible/research a lot, I’ve found that the best philosophers say there are 3 effective ways to find truth (pragmatic truth, correspondence truth and coherence truth) and use these objective criteria to identify truth/love/wisdom and avoid what is false and harmful. There are some aspects of finding truth that take time…but much truth boils down to a simple sentence in the Bible:
“Always do good to each person and all people.” 1 Thess. 5:15
But figuring out truth is the most crucial principle in life to understand! Yale professor Jason Stanley says. “Truth is required to act freely. Freedom requires knowledge, and in order to act freely in the world, you need to know what the world is and know what you’re doing. You only know what you’re doing if you have access to the truth. So freedom requires truth, and so to smash freedom you must smash truth.”
I have a lot of hobbies. I like outdoor activities like hiking, jumping off waterfalls (30-60 feet), snow skiing, etc. These are a couple videos of my jumping hobby:
I also like eating good food from many different cultures.
I also dialogue on truths of God and science with people from other worldviews.
I am American, but left America to teach Bible and English overseas. I then lived in Asia for 26 years (1 year in Singapore, 23 years in S. Korea, 1 1/2 years in China). I taught English, linguistics, life skills with science, etc. I loved it and so I am very flexible and understanding of different cultures. I will probably go back and live in China for a long time in the near future (If God leads there and my wife agrees).
I have been a teacher for some years, a professor for ~10 years, and am working on some extremely important research that can change many lives positively.
I have a university degree, and would have a master’s/Ph.D…but I experienced several major betrayals in life that prevented that. But I may still get that.
I’m looking for a woman who loves God, people, truth and adventure! If I could find a woman to love like that, we agree on our dreams in life and desire to give happiness to each other and people in need for the rest of our lives, I’d like to spend the rest of my life knowing her better and making her happy!
How about you? What are your goals in life? What does God mean to you? What kind of man do you want to love and marry? Let me know and see if God wants us to be together!
P.S. My contact info is:
I’m glad I met you here, but dating apps are very limited. They have text limits, bad formatting, on some you can’t share interesting pictures/videos from your computer and I am slow at typing on a phone. These are much better places to become friends:
Wechat ID: LoveTruth7 (good if we need translation)
P.S.S. I was married for ~15 years, but am divorced now sadly. The very brief version is that I married a Korean woman and we were very happy in dating and the first couple years of marriage. But then some business partners broke contracts with me, and we had some serious money problems for a while. I went through 3 court cases because of that and won all 3 cases, proving that they had been dishonest. But the biggest dishonest partner ran away and never paid what he owed. At this time, I needed my wife’s support most, but she began threatening divorce all the time…and stopped almost all romance, dating, conversation, etc. She began saying crazy things like:
“95% of happiness in life is being rich.”
“We’re married. Why do we need to date.”
“Go find another girlfriend. I don’t want to be intimate.”
“I feel happy when you are hurting.”
Needless to say, I was heartbroken and crushed by this. But I realized that these hurtful things did not come just from her. I was sure they meant she had been abused. Later I found out this was true. She has been severely abused by her father. Psychologists say it is common for this to lead to addictions as adults. In her case, after marriage, she became severely obsessed with getting rich. She also became very abusive towards me (esp. emotionally abusive, refusing dates, refusing conversation, refusing intimacy unless I gave her a lot of money)She also neglected our daughter a lot to become rich. Basically she put greed above family and it caused much grief. This is what the Bible says (“Greed brings grief to the whole family” Prov. 15:27 NLT).
We could have made a lot more money if she had put love first instead of greed. Her frequent threats to me, made me unable to sleep for 100s of nights and I couldn’t focus on work very well. So I learned that truth…and having the right priorities, knowing the truth…is VERY important.
This experience was painful, but I don’t blame her for the pain she caused, because I know that abused people often grow up to hurt others. Jesus asked God to forgive those who hurt Him, because they didn’t know what they were doing. They were deceived/brainwashed. She also didn’t know how to distinguish truth from deception in media, so I just pray that God forgives her.
Now I want to find a good healthy woman to live life with and follow wise principles of marriage. This experience is 1 reason why love for God, love for truth and science are so important to me. I know they are crucial foundations of a happy marriage long term. I know that God’s way is always best and that I can have a great marriage if the woman I love also follows God’s principles!